Father and son were walking hand in hand when they saw two dogs "doing it" in the middle of the street.
The dad got all flustered and told his son that the big brown dog hurt his paw, and the little white dog was helping him across the street. The boy thought a minute, then looked up and said, "Isn't that just like life? You try to help someone and get screwed!"

A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a new litter of Labrador puppies. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, "There were three boy Labrador puppies and four girl Labrador puppies."
"How did you know that?" his mother asked.
"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it is printed on their bottoms.

On the door of the little country store a stranger noticed the sign DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! Inside he saw a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register.
He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" "Yep, that's him," he replied.
The stranger could not help but be amused. "That certainly does not look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"
"Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."

A burglar is sneaking through this house one night, when out of the darkness comes a voice, "I can see you, and so can Jesus".

The burglar freezes in his tracks and is too frightened to move. After ten minutes, nothing has happened so he moves forward. Again from the darkness comes the voice, "I can see you, and so can Jesus". The burglar is petrified and too frightened to move a muscle.
After thirty minutes, he decides to do something. He backs very slowly and tentatively to the wall and feels around for a light switch. He switches on the light and there in front of him, sit a cockatoo in a cage, who says, "I can see you, and so can Jesus".

Greatly relieved, the burglar sighs, "It's just a cocky". The cocky looks at the burglar and says, "I might be just a cocky but Jesus is a big German Shepherd".

A Veterinarian was sick and went to see the doctor.
The doctor asked him all the usual questions about symptoms etc., when he interrupted him: "Hey look, I am a Vet - *I* don't need to ask my patients all these questions. I can tell what is wrong just by looking." He added, "Why can't you?"

The doctor nodded, stood back, looked him up and down, quickly wrote out a prescription, handed it to him, and said, "There you are. ...Of course, if *that* does not work, we'll have to have you put down."

Dog jokes

Dog humor